When many of us think of soul mates, we think of a loving couple whose every thought, word and hope is realised by the presence of the other partner. Some of us go further, imagining that meeting their soul mate might be the end of a search for deep love and understanding.

When researching my book Finding Your Soul Mate a different picture emerged. Although couples who responded to my questionnaire spoke of a deep love and an instinctual ‘knowing’ that they were meant to be together, they also described the difficulties of being in or starting a soul mate love relationship.

Equal to the mountain peaks are the valleys it seems, and many soul mates love relationships had deep and often painful issues which demanded attention. The difference however, with soul mate partners is often the level of commitment to the possibilities these relationships possess. In some cases even when partners ran away from the possibilities of such a powerful love, they found themselves back together again. In one instance each partner married someone else and pursued separate lives before rediscovering each other.

Seeing soul mates as people who have spent time together (as partners, family members of as friends) in previous lives, it stands to reason that some deep part of them is aware of each other when they meet in this life. This awareness often surfaces as feelings and sometimes these feelings can be misinterpreted.

Sometimes you may be completely unaware when a soul mate arrives, as I was in 1983 when sharing a small terrace house in Sydney’s eastern suburbs. When our fourth co-tenant left for a job interstate, we advertised for a replacement. After interviewing more than 15 people we were no closer to finding a suitable person, when Jenny arrived to look at the room. My two co-tenants liked her immediately but I felt that she was unhealthy and unhappy with her life, and I didn’t want to live with her.

“Well, since we both like Jenny and you don’t, if you really don’t want her to live here I suggest that you pay the rent on the fourth room until we find someone suitable,” suggested Dominic. Knowing that I couldn’t afford to pay for an extra room, I accepted Jenny and soon we became firm friends.

Six months later we moved out together to a house of our own and had the time of our lives. We grew closer and closer until I noticed that I could start a sentence and Jenny would finish it. I’d make a humorous comment about a situation and she’d take it to extremes. We shared two more houses together as we found one another easy company. Jenny died in the late 1980’s, and several months after her death I delved into our history together. Through hypnosis I was regressed into a life we had shared together at the turn of the century in England, where we had both been men. There we cemented a friendship which was to last lifetimes.

Soul mates as friends, family members and as your children makes sense when you consider that soul mates are mastering spiritual lessons together. Discovering the underlying spiritual lessons together can take some of the tension out of the relationship and at times such knowledge can explain current behaviour.

An example of this occurred with Carl, whose unshakeable belief that his partner Rachael would disappear one day without warning and without trace was undermining their long term relationship. Through a series of hypnosis regressions it became obvious that Rachael had been in relationship with Carl previously (in previous lives) and that things had ended badly three times. In one life their relationship ended when Rachael (then also a woman) was caught having an affair. These past life memories were effecting Carl’s present relationship, reducing his trust of Rachael. When they had met this lifetime Carl avoided Rachael for the first four months and she pursued him determinedly. It is possible that Carl’s deeper memories reminded him of previous pain with Rachael.

Soul mate friendships, relationships and business partnerships offer us deep spiritual lessons if we are prepared to embrace them. When you consider how many time you may have lived, there are opportunities for many soul mate friendships and relationships. While seeking your one soul mate, perhaps you are overlooking all the others, and lets face it, you can’t have too many friends.

This is based on Paul’s book Finding Your Soul Mate (2010 Academy Publishing).

Finding Your Soul Mate, Paul Fenton-Smith

Finding Your Soul Mate, Copyright 2006 Paul Fenton-Smith

This book offers a glimpse of how soul mates can help you to pursue your spiritual purpose and it encourages you to examine what you can offer your soul mates. It also asks the question ‘how many soul mates can we expect in a lifetime?’

Finding Your Soul Mate also examines same gender soul mates, what you can do to prepare for your next soul mate love relationship and what choices are offered you when you have mastered the lessons contained within your soul mate relationship. Filled with examples from life, this book examines why we seek soul mate relationships and how we can accept circumstances when we meet a soul mate who is unable to pursue a relationship with us in this lifetime.

Soul Mates Quiz Click here to see to take the quiz to see if you’re ready for your next love relationship.

Finding Your Soul Mate CD Finding Your Soulmate CD

Finding Your Soul Mate offers Guided Meditations to help you to clear the path to love. It goes beyond the theories of the book to help you to prepare for a long term relationship.

Using three powerful guided meditations, this CD helps you to clear away the past, resolve the present and open your heart to love. With repeated use this CD can help you to be ready when opportunities for love present themselves. It is important to listen to track one 15 times (15 days in a row) before listening to track two. Then listen to the second meditation 15 times and then the final mediation for 15 times. This ensures you enjoy the strongest results from each meditation.

Clearing the Past 10.23
Forgiveness and Release 22.40
Opening Your Heart 18.10

Click here to purchase this CD