Thirty year old Lorna (not her real name) recently consulted me for a clairvoyant /tarot reading with a view to examining her relationship opportunities. After a general reading she asked about love relationships without being specific to any one person.
She agreed with my description of a previous partner, who had promised her the earth and then promptly disappeared as quickly as he had arrived; breaking her heart in the process. She confirmed that her current partner enjoyed a conversation, loved his freedom and was commitment resistant.
I described another man who was likely to arrive within eighteen months, and that he too, was passing through. Having exhausted the information available to me from the upward facing cards on the table, I ‘tuned in’ clairvoyantly.
Retracing some past dates and events at age 21, 25 and 26 years of age to confirm that I had established a clear psychic link to Lorna, I then looked ahead for her. I described another man arriving when she was 33 years of age, but this man was likely to bolt when she was 34; terrified of his love for her and the commitment required to build a life together. It appeared that he was going to run away overseas.
I described another man who soon after his arrival when she was 35, was likely to settle down with her.
“Do you like animals?” I asked her.
“Yes I do. Why?”
“I see you with at least six dogs, some ducks, a bird aviary and your partner has an enormous fish tank. In these surroundings, you appear to be very happy with your life. It’s a smallish cottage by the sea, which allows him to take a small boat out almost every day. He loves the ocean, but you don’t seem to care for it; as he usually sets out in this boat alone.”
“That’s right. I don’t mind boats but I’m happier in a garden,” she replied, and sighed. “I’m disappointed.”
“Why?” I asked, turning away from the clairvoyant images to hear Lorna’s answer.
“Well, you tell me that the current man isn’t going to amount to anything, and that the next one will be the same. Then you mention another man who literally runs away from me, and then finally this man who loves his boat. It all seems so long to wait for happiness.”
We both knew she was right; that it did seem like a long time to wait. To make the waiting process easier I decided to break the process down into digestible portions.
“Let’s take this step by step. Firstly, is it really a surprise to you that the current man isn’t interested in commitment?” I asked, and paused. She shuffled uncomfortably in her chair before shaking her head.
“No. I knew this I guess. It’s just disappointing to hear it said aloud, that’s all.”
“That’s true,” I said. “It must be disappointing, and hearing that there are several more short-term men before the big relationship must be difficult too.”
“It is,” she replied.
“Would you prefer that I lied to you? Would it be better for me to invent the perfect man and falsely predict that he’ll arrive within 12 months and sweep you off your feet?”
“No, not really.”
“Then how might you feel if I told you that your current partner will eventually come around, and want to marry you, when we both know that it isn’t true. It’s not a bad relationship. It’s simply unlikely to go where you want it to go. You have fun together. He’s a sociable guy and he’s never short of conversation. If I were to fill you with false hope, you might return home and put all of your commitment into a relationship which is good for awhile, but which is not your long term relationship. How do you think the disappointment might feel when this relationship eventually concluded?”
“I see your point,” she said half heartedly.
“I have a policy regarding false predictions.”
“Yes. It is this. Lies cost extra. If you really want me to lie to you I can do that, with a foreign accent if you’d prefer, but it’s still your life. In the end you’ll realise that I’ve steered you in the wrong direction, and that doesn’t benefit anyone. That’s soothsaying. It involves saying whatever is necessary to soothe the client. To be honest, it’s difficult enough to ensure the accuracy of what I currently tell you, without having to edit the details to prevent your disappointment.”
She nodded silently and then I grew curious as to why this man wasn’t likely to meet her for another five years. I asked inwardly, to be told that he wasn’t ready. I decided to share this with Lorna, so that she might understand the bigger picture.
“This man that you’ll eventually settle with in the cottage by the sea. He can’t be with you yet because he’s not ready.”
“Why isn’t he ready. I’ve been ready for ages it seems.”
“He’s already married. He’s unhappy. They’re both unhappy, but they have to separate and finalise their relationship before he’s ready to meet someone new. He’ll also need some time to grieve, and to decide where he wants to go next. Please be patient. If you were to meet now, you’d be the reason for their separation, and then he might carry guilt regarding being with you. If it doesn’t start in a clean and honest way, there may be unnecessary complications.”
She sighed again, nodding in silent agreement. I continued.
“If you were genuinely ready as you claim to be, do you think you’d be with someone who is happy to have a light, uncommitted relationship with you?”
“I am ready,” she insisted.
“Then what about the man you met at 21 years of age. Are you telling me that you don’t miss him? Are you suggesting that you don’t long to be with him when things aren’t working out in your life now? Is it fair to state that he’s your emotional ‘back door’ ?”
She glanced down at the table to avoid the question. I continued.
“Perhaps you’re not ready on some level yet too? What can you do with these years to make the most of them before you meet this man and settle down in the country? What will you most miss about being single when you settle down? Don’t waste these years waiting for him. Take that trip to Canada you’ve always wanted to take, and you’ll have some great stories to share with him when he arrives.”
“How did you know I’ve always wanted to visit Canada,” she asked with surprise.
“What exactly are we doing here today?” I responded, and she laughed.
Lorna left the reading disappointed and I felt disheartened too. She saw her life as a long period of waiting for Mr. Right while being disappointed by short relationships. I perceived her life as a happy one, especially after she met her long term partner, who wasn’t yet ready for a love relationship with her. I felt unable to get across to Lorna that the bigger picture is what really matters.
In an age where almost everything is instant, perhaps we are losing our ability to wait for the things which really matter to us. ‘Buy now and pay later’ declare the signs. A cynical friend once suggested that buy now and pay later aptly applies to anyone who has been married and divorced.
In an age where you can walk into a shop with no more than a credit card and walk out with enormous purchases, we are growing accustomed to having it all now. In response to her disappointment about current and forthcoming circumstances, the questions which Lorna might have chosen to ask are these.
- What can I do to prepare myself for a long term love relationship?
- What or whom do I need to leave behind before I’m ready to be in a long term love relationship?
- Is it wise for me to remain in my current love relationship? (Despite it being a short term relationship).
- How can I become a better relationship partner?
- Is it wise or appropriate for me to remain single at this time in my life?
Many clients consult a clairvoyant for hope in times of crisis or despair. They seek something to look forward to when they are running low on faith in life. Sometimes they find what they seek and return home with hope restored. In other instances they are told of the work they need to complete in order to change their lives into what they desire. Occasionally they are told of good things ahead, but leave without hope because those good things are too far away or outside their field of vision. Retaining an awareness of life’s bigger picture is surely what a clairvoyant must do. Isn’t it the clairvoyant’s role to clarify the patterns of behaviour which the clients don’t see themselves repeating?
The late psychiatrist and innovator Frederick S. Perls summed it up many years ago when he stated that “the neurotic never sees the obvious.” All of us are neurotic from time to time according to that definition.
The word ‘clairvoyant’ simply means clear-seeing.
It has come to signify someone who contacts the dead and those who possess ‘second sight’ when in reality a perceptive friend can be clairvoyant, when they help you to see the bigger picture or the consequences of your intended actions. When friends or strangers can clearly see what we need to do or to become in order to become fulfilled, they are clear seeing (clairvoyant) in a real sense.
(c) Copyright 2014 Paul Fenton-Smith.